Australia v New Zealand First T20 Report Card
Featuring super lycanthropy, outrunning concussion and enormous HECS debt
Super Lycanthropy
Grade: B+
You know what snuck up on me? This T20 series between the Australian and New Zealand women’s sides, that’s what. Cricket back on Australian soil (well, North Queensland soil, but that still counts!). Great stuff. Sign me up.
Unfortunately, the players themselves seemed just as over-excited for the return of cricket, and a foolish game of Mackay Warm-Em-Ups culminated in some kind of head clash between Georgia ‘Wolfie’ Wareham and Ash ‘Human’ Gardner that ruled the latter out of the match.
Crazy stuff. What was Travis even doing there?
Wareham, however, was good to go, possibly due to her known lycanthropic nature, and the fact that this match was being played under a ‘super moon’. (Although, of course, according to ICC playing conditions, the super moon is only in play for the first six overs of each innings.)
Outrunning Concussion
Grade: A-
New Zealand batted first and, despite losing regular wickets, chugged their way along to 7/143 from their twenty overs.
The player that caught my eye, fittingly enough, was Izzy Gaze, the New Zealand wicketkeeper, who holds the incredible record of having the highest proportion of the letter Z in her name (37.5%) in the history of international cricket. A tremendous prospect for New Zealand (10%) going forward.
Alas, Gaze only scored 11 (9), trapped LBW by Heather Graham after non-nominative-determinedly failing to watch the ball sufficiently closely.
Still, maybe that was a wicketkeeper thing, with Alyssa Healy also letting through twelve byes and getting donked on the helmet at one point, a moment that led to the startling sight of the Australian captain attempting to outrun a concussion test.
Great to see. And, in a way, doesn’t this kind of lateral thinking immediately prove her clarity of mind? Shouldn’t cricket, as a sport, be open to more of this? Why not have players who are struck by a ball that would otherwise merit a quick noggin check from the doctor be allowed to abort that cranium examination immediately by inventing some kind of quick-witted escape from the physician’s grasping assessment?
No, seriously. These are genuine questions. I’m not a doctor. Should we be allowing this?
Enormous HECS Debt
Grade: D
Australia’s reply began with Fran Jonas delivering up a couple of balls of loose leg side slop to Beth Mooney. Mooney smacked both deliveries to the boundary and the run chase was away. (To be fair, this is also how I would bowl to Mooney. She’s intimidatingly good.)
But New Zealand nerves settled and they started working through the powerful Australia top order. Former Danger Mouse sidekick, Molly Penfold, was the pick of the bowlers, eventually taking 2/24 from her four overs.
At 3/44, Australia were potentially in trouble. But only potentially, because that’s when Phoebe Litchfield came to the crease. The youngster showcased her 360 degree abilities, effortlessly walloping 64* (43) all around the ground to guide her team safely home.
There are some who say that 360 degrees is too many. I say, she’s young, she’s had herself a gap year, and if she thinks she can take on that kind of workload, let her have a go at it. HECS debt be damned!