England v Sri Lanka Third Test Report Card, Days Two and Three
Featuring hue respect and failing to challenge Bradman
Hue Respect
Grade: A-
The second day of this Test was mostly an exercise in bad light, if the updates from the restaurant at which I was dining were a reliable indication. (And let’s assume they were.)
In fact, if the screen I snuck a peek at between entree and main was to be believed, this was ‘the baddest light in the whole damn town’. Yikes!
Chris Woakes bowled some off spin. Joe Root bowled some woke spin. Shoab Bashir bowled some rooted spin. And Big Josh Hull™ dropped a catch.
Talking points emerged once the players dutifully departed for the day, with Sri Lanka 5/211 in reply to England’s 325. The main point upon which that talking was pinned was this: ‘Hey, why not switch to a pink ball when the light gets bad? Logically, if we can a) play day/night Tests and b) change the ball whenever the bowling team complains enough, then it surely follows that c) we can change the ball when the day becomes nightlike and continue the Test and give the fans some entertainment, for goodness sake.’
A nice syllogism, yes. But one saddled with tremendous problems. For if you can just change the colour of the ball at a moment’s notice, where does it end? First, a pink ball. Then, what, an orange ball? A black ball? Polka dot ball? Infra-red ball? No. It’s a slippery slope.
Take the players off when light gets bad and let the fans entertain themselves during the enforced break in the traditional way (ie, by thinking about hue respect).
Failing To Challenge Bradman
Grade: D
On the morning of the third day, England took quick wickets. First, Bashir held a skied chance from Dhananjaya de Silva off the bowling of Hull. Mature cricket from Bashir, given that he had been the bowler when Hull spilt the chance the night before. A lesser twenty-year-old might have deliberately dropped this catch in retaliation. His refusal to indulge in pettiness will stand him in good stead.
Then, Kamindu Mendis was caught at slip by Root. Is Kamindu batting too high at number seven? A Test average of 77 suggests he is. If he bats at eight, surely he’ll average 88. Move him down to nine, and he’s challenging Bradman. Sort this out, Sri Lanka.
The loss of their two overnight batters saw Sri Lanka fall away, all out for 263, giving England a lead of 62 on the first innings.
Just enough time then for Ben Duckett to thrash like an idiot, lopping one to mid on for seven, and Ollie Pope to be out the last ball before lunch, playing on, also for seven.
Pope’s form a concern? You’d have to say: yes.
Morpheus Off The Short Run
That’s when I went to bed.
When I woke up the next morning and checked the England press coverage, I learnt that this match, taking place in England, had suddenly turned not in favour of England. In fact, it had every chance of turning out to be one of the great Tests between England and England's carelessness.
Here’s what I (apparently) missed while I slept.
England batted, with batters from England
156 all out, a true shame for England,
Then bowling from England
With bowlers from England
Saw England’s lead cut, with few wickets for England