Australia v England Second ODI Report Card

Featuring gangly gymnastics, stealing sound waves, time-rippling collapses, a displeased King, half-Maxwelling a chase and no ball hustles

Gangly Gymnastics
Grade: C-

In their series against New Zealand that preceded this one, I admired Australia’s handy knack when batting first of somehow, no matter what wicket-taking deliveries befell them at the start (or middle or end) of the innings, still ending up at more or less 300.

In this, the second ODI of the Ashes, they ended up more less than 300 than they’d been in a long time. In fact, they were 120 less than 300, which in ‘less than 300’ terms is really very, very less.

Early on, it looked as if they would fall much less less than 300. A wayward start from England’s Laurens, Bell and Filer, saw Australia off to a rapid start. Lauren Filer, in particular, was doing her Lauren Faller routine where she tumbles onto the ground in her follow-through, and her gangly gymnastics seemed to put the Australians in a mood.

The Australian captain raced to 29 (19), with six boundaries, before feathering an attempted drive through to Amy Jones. Her opening partner, Phoebe Litchfield, trailed in her wake, also reaching 29, but off fifty deliveries.

A pair of more or less thirties for the openers. A more or less respectable start.

Stealing Sound Waves
Grade: D

The Australian batter who seemed most annoyed, however, by England’s nonsense (and by this stage, ‘nonsense’ was mostly now redefined as ‘bowling cricket balls to her’) was Ellyse Perry, who charged along with such conviction that even when she was trapped LBW by Alice Capsey for 60, most observers still described the dismissal in terms of denying her a century.

England needed DRS to overturn the original not out decision against Perry, and, for most of the deliberation, it appeared as if the wily veteran had managed to scuffle together enough scattered Snicko noise spikes to earn a reprieve. Perhaps she’d somehow travelled through time and stolen the spike from the Yashasvi Jaiswal catch during the Border-Gavaskar Trophy.

Yet, despite the presence of more spikes than a turn of the century BuffyCon, the third umpire wasn’t fooled, sending Perry on her way.

Time-Rippling Collapses
Grade: D-

Perry’s dismissal was part of a middle order collapse for Australia, with Capsey being the main destroyer. In addition to Perry, the off spinner also accounted for Annabel Sutherland and Ash Gardner, all in consecutive overs, as the home side slipped from 3/146 to 6/150.

With Sophie Ecclestone also taking wickets, the collapse accelerated. And, like Perry’s thievery of the Jaiswal sound waves, rippled backwards in time, encompassing not just the middle order and most of the tail, but now some of the top order as well.

By the time Darcie Brown, having being asked to face a delivery for the first time in her 23-match ODI career and outscoring Gardner and Tahlia McGrath combined, was stranded on 4* (10), Australia had collapsed from 2/131 to 180 all out.

Which, as previously mentioned, was much less than 300.

A Displeased King
Grade: B

England therefore marched steadily and comfortably to the victory target of 181, right?

No.