Australia v India First Test, Day Three Report Card
Featuring replayed centuries, The Scagh, insecurity, commentator amnesia and The Patwatchman
Replayed Centuries
Grade: A
Could Australia take a wicket on the third day of this Test? Turns out they could. But not before Yashasvi Jaiswal brought up a magnificent century.
Such is the talent of this dynamic youngster that he even had the wherewithal to add an unusual comic flourish to the ton, lofting a shot on 95 and landing the ball precisely on the boundary rope so that there was a delicious delay while the third umpire checked whether it was a run-of-the-mill take-you-to-99 boundary or an exquisite bring-up-your-century-with-a-maximum six.
Obviously, it was the latter. Chef’s kiss. (And kisses from other knighted England captains too. Also, non-England captains. As well as non-captains. And, in fact, everybody who appreciates a thrilling young talent.)
More centuries being brought up by replay, please.
The Scagh
Grade: D
Jaiswal was eventually dismissed by Mitch Marsh for 161, as Australia abandoned all plans of using their frontline bowlers.
Instead, along with Marsh, they turned to Marnus Labuschagne, bowling his filthy medium pace, and Travis Head, bowling his equally filthy off spin.
It was Marnus who caught the eye, though, furiously attempting to bounce out the India batters with all the cartoon gusto of a wind-up toy frog.
I now choose to believe that ‘Lab-oo-shane’ is the cricketer Australia usually gets, but this bouncer-bowling madman is pure ‘Lab-oo-scagh-nay’.
‘Time for The Scagh!’ his teammates will shout, and Marnus will oblige with some hyperactive short stuff.
Anyway, the point was that The Scagh didn’t take any wickets. But he and Head did slow down the onslaught briefly.
Good tactics from Australia to use their worst bowlers, knowing that the India batters would be terrified of ruining their IPL auction prospects by getting out to one of them.
Insecurity
Grade: C
A few wickets then fell with the new ball, but that only brought Virat Kohli to the crease. The great man was full of fury, needlessly cannoning a ball straight into a security guard at one point.
A metaphorical message? Think you’re secure, Australia? Well, you’re fucken not.
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