Australia v West Indies Second Test Report Card, Day Two

Featuring shooing, sticking to your groove, backflips and perfecting Bazball

Shooing
Grade: B-

After the India-England Test dominated attention on the first day of these twin Tests, the Australia-West Indies match fought back brilliantly on the second day.

It began with news that Cameron Green had tested negative to Covid-19, which meant that if Josh Hazlewood was shooing him away today, it was something personal. Mitchell Marsh had similarly shooed away the number on his shirt, fielding innumerately, presumably as part of some woke protest against the existence of arithmetic.

BAD AI IMAGE OF: Furious crowds protesting the existence of arithmetic

The best shooing came from Kevin Sinclair, however, waving away the purported threat of the Australian attack, as he and Kemar Roach comfortably survived the first hour of the day’s play.

Much like with Brian Lara’s 277 at the SCG all those years ago, the only way Australia could conceivably dismiss Roach was with a run out. So that’s what the home side resorted to after drinks. Sinclair followed immediately after bringing up his fifty, and the West Indies were all out for 311.

This total grew in magnitude when Australia’s innings began with Steve Smith dismissed for six in the first over. Without wanting to jump the gun on this opener experiment thing, it’s becoming increasingly obvious that Smith needs to move back to number four and/or 2017.

Marnus Labuschagne arrived at the crease, still sticking to the strategy of emulating Smith, long after it ceased being a sound idea. He was therefore out for three, caught by an airborne Sinclair (stay tuned). Green came and went for eight, with Travis Head following first ball and Roach went to lunch on a hat trick, with an appetiteless Australia 4/24.