Australian Survivor Report Card - Brains v Brawn 2 - Episode 10
Featuring stupid comments, throwing idols, chatty comments, throwing challenges and mischievous comments
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Previously on Australian Survivor: AJ had hostages, sandbags had idols, and Max had to stop dancing
Stupid Comments
Grade: D
A new week of Australian Survivor means we get the fun* opportunity to see who’ll be bullying Myles for the next few episodes. Early frontrunner for this week seems to be Jesse (or possibly Ben), who’s sneeringly dismissive that Myles used anything so crude as a so-called ‘immunity idol’ to protect himself from votes at the previous Tribal Council rather than the more courageous, Brawn-approved approach of having an original tribe majority.
Over on New Brawn, meanwhile, Logan is angry at AJ for his wild gameplay. She explains to the Original Brawn members why. “I could lose my besties out here. Y’know, my number one allies, my ride or dies, the players I trust most, way more than you, for example, Noonan, or you, Paulie - simply because AJ made a stupid comment.”
Great point, Logan.
Throwing Idols
Grade: D-
After a quick ad break for the new Sam Pang tonight show, it’s time for a reward challenge. (BTW, this Sam Pang show is never going to actually be on, is it? We’re just going to get promos for it forever. (To be fair, that’s a gag I could get behind. Just keep pushing the premiere date back each week. Good stuff. Comedically sound and budgetarily smart.))
The challenge is a classic game of Idol Knock-Off, with the reward being an afternoon at the Survivor Pub! Beer, chips, music (a Guy Sebastian-Shannon Noll tribute act!), and, of course, chicken parmigiana, so that people can get needlessly and tediously upset about regional variations in how one truncates the name of such a delicacy. A proper pub experience.
Alas, enough people know the hack to this challenge that it soon devolves into who can throw their idol the highest. Answer: the New Brains Tribe.
I say, if you win time at the Survivor Pub via the hack of tossing your idol off the tray and into the sky then that’s also how your beers should be delivered to you.
Chatty Comments
Grade: D+
At the pub, Myles starts harnessing the power of his loudmouth blabbing, but for good? He tells the Original Brawn members all about the dynamics of Original Brains, while Zara and Laura fume superbly in the background.
Zara takes Myles aside and explains why he shouldn’t be talking so much. “We are just vermin to them that they’re looking to exterminate.”
“Welcome to my entire game so far,” responds Myles, who is just hoping that his vast experience at being treated like a jungle rat will get him through to merge.
But Zara’s also right, because the Brawn majority sneak off, smashed off their faces, and reiterate sloppily to one another how much they should throw the challenge so they can merge with the numbers, stick together and ensure the back half of the season will be maximally dull and mateshippy.
Drunk talk, yes, but, y’know, in vino veritas (as Kate correctly points out).
“What’s that mean?” belches Ben (or possibly Jesse).
“It’s Latin,” says Kate. “‘In wine, there is truth’. Uh, Pliny the Elder? Ring any bells?”
“You watch yourself,” mutters Jesse (or possibly Ben).
“Wait, there was wine?” says Zara.
Throwing Challenges
Grade: D-
But there’s no time for any further drunken discussion. Instead it’s time for an immunity challenge - a classic game of DIY Ladder Obstacle Course Basketball, which, as we all know, climaxes with two contestants on top of a high tower, shooting baskets.
“Will there be any other Police Academy characters to climb on top of?” asks Paulie, with mock innocence. But nobody else gets it, despite an extended demonstration of Michael Winslow sound effects.
The challenge ultimately comes down to Ben (or possibly Jesse) and AJ with two out of three balls in the net, delaying as long as possible the third successful shot.
“Are you throwing?” asks AJ, at one point, which is definitely the most confusing question to ask under the circumstances.
Rather than using the obvious fix to the problem (ie, by getting AJ and Ben to swap balls and shoot for the other side’s target), JLP instead threatens to turn this episode around right now, if you kids don’t stop mucking about.
So Ben (or possibly Jesse) sighs and effortlessly sinks the final basket, sending New Brawn back to Tribal Council.
Mischievous Comments
Grade: D+
Everybody has by now pretty much had enough of AJ’s behaviour (the ‘AJ’ stands for ‘antics jaded’). “Remember when AJ spent an entire episode sitting in a tree?” reminisces Logan. “What happened to that sad little fella?”
Nevertheless, the original Brains still look likely to stick together, even if, as Kaelan whimsically suggests, he needs to go full sheepdog and nip at their heels to keep them in line.
Coincidentally (or not??), Noonan has an ankle injury and so is immobile and irritable. This doesn’t stop her from trying to stir up trouble, however, and even though she’s eventually voted out, she concocts enough mischief in the meantime that Paulie plays an idol, which causes AJ to play an idol, which causes everybody in his alliance to, somehow, impossibly, become even more annoyed with him.
Poor old AJ, unluckily playing the game with humans rather than robot calculating Survivor machines. Better luck next all star season, mate.
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