Australian Survivor Report Card - Brains v Brawn 2 - Episode 2
Featuring disgusting animals, fishing rewards, adherent feet, challenge heights and masterstrokes
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Previously on Australian Survivor: Auras were detected, idols were flushed, and Candy was stolen from babies (ie us, the loyal Australian Survivor viewers)
Disgusting Animals
Grade: D
In the aftermath of Tribal Council, we see Nash running the numbers on the vote. In a stunning second episode twist, he makes only a handful of basic arithmetic errors, resulting in a sufficiently accurate sum to suspect that Zen must have flipped on him.
But how to be sure? What Nash needs is a cunning way to pry this secret knowledge out of the savvy testosterone-powered hip-hop artist.
“Hey, Zen!” he begins, casually calling out from his hammock.
“I flipped on you, man,” replies Zen.
While those two converse uncomfortably, it’s time to check back in with Kent, who, this episode, is apparently a praying mantis, using his revolting powers of prayer to dissolve the skin off poor old Myles. This is in contrast to the first episode, in which he declared himself to be a Komodo dragon, poisoning poor old Myles with a single bite, so that he died a slow and agonising death.
Look, to give him some credit, Kent knows a lot about the disgusting ways in which animals kill things. Surprised he’s worked out a way to successfully monetise it though.
I wonder what stomach-churning animal he’ll be next episode? I’m betting it’s one of those hideous hairless cats.
Fishing Rewards
Grade: C+
Off to the reward challenge now. It’s a classic Slip’n’Slide Wall-Breaker Water-Jigsaw challenge, that the Brains ultimately win, thanks mostly to the middle leg in which Nash substitutes himself into the ‘throw bags at tiles’ role, and misses with every single throw.
Classic Nash: can’t put a puzzle together, can’t take a puzzle apart.
When the Brains tribe return to camp, giddily triumphant with their win, they are given the choice of a giant fish to eat right now or fishing gear to use as they please.
As the ancient proverb says: “Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and the tribe bickers endlessly over the reward, providing solid television content for multiple segments.”
Adherent Feet
Grade: B+
In a smart piece of Wicked cross-promotion, Laura the Witch has started compiling an alliance that she calls The Coven, which consists of everybody in the Brains tribe who also wants to wield powerful magical forces while on the island (ie, the rest of the women).
They somehow find a cauldron and start throwing eyes of newts, and warts of toads, and biceps of hosts in there, enabling Laura to cast a powerful spell in the immunity challenge.
That challenge? A classic game of Roll’Em Giant Ball Balance Sandbag Toss. During the giant ball leg, Laura casts a Spell of Adherent Feet on AJ, who’s standing atop the ball. This, as we know, adds 1d6 to his Dexterity while on top of a sphere, giving the Brains tribe the lead as they head into the puzzle section of the challenge.
Except the puzzle section is just tossing sandbags onto raised disks. (“Do they have to land in a specific pattern, the details of which we need to cleverly solve?” asks Zara, hopefully. “Shut up, you perspicacious nerd,” replies fellow zed-head Zen.)
Alas, Laura hadn’t prepared a Toss of Truth spell, and Brawn win, sending the Brains tribe to Tribal Council.
Challenge Heights
Grade: D
Speaking of awful tossers, Kent has bloody well cracked it! “Let’s all vote for Myles,” he decrees. When there’s some pushback on this idea due to Myles’ challenge prowess, Kent is aghast.
FUN SURVIVOR FACT: “Do you honestly think he’s good at challenges? He’s the same height as me, mate.” are two sentences that don’t actually have anything to do with one another.
Nevertheless, satisfied that he’s got his way, Kent heads off for a nap. Turns out that he’s actually a sleeping mantis.
While he naps, we learn that Indy has lost that Coven feeling. Indy, annoyed that she was the last one brought into the Coven’s plans, decides instead that she’s going to tell two boofheads named Max and Rich that they’re being targeted.
This attempt by Indy to swap alliances is the Australian Survivor equivalent of trying to swap a golden idol resting on a pedestal with a carefully weighted bag of sand, without triggering the pressure sensors.
Indy is about as successful at this swap as her Raiders of the Lost Ark namesake, and is suddenly counter-targeted by a giant rolling boulder of furious betrayed tribe mates.
Masterstrokes
Grade: F
But just when we think that Indy is a shoo-in to be voted out, Kent, the Survivor mastermind, wakes up from his nap and starts Tribal Council by revealing to everybody that he burnt Max’s hat, before proudly leaning back, awaiting the gushing approval from his tribe for this brilliant strategic gambit.
Instead, most of the Coven call him out for being a dick for, y’know, destroying somebody else’s belongings.
“Ah, but did I mention that it was a shitty hat,” says Kent, clarifying his masterstroke.
This does not dissuade the Coven’s opinion of him, but there’s no time to change the plan (fun Survivor fact: yes, actually, there was), so they all stick to the plan of voting for Indy instead.
We’ll just have to wait for next episode, I guess, when hopefully Kent’s entire face will be melted away by the wrath of God.
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