England v Australia Fifth ODI Report Card

Featuring must-win matches, Marnus summer songs, shortening the innings break and Matthew Potts' shoes

Must-Win Matches
Grade: D

And so, off we headed to Bristol, series locked 2-2, for what the television commentators declared to be a ‘must-win’ fifth ODI.

It was a stunning stretch of the definition for what was barely a ‘nice-to-win’ match, and was perhaps more accurately a ‘must-not-get-any-more-Test-players-injured’ contest.

With Cameron Green already on a plane back home with a buggered back, Australia captain Mitch Marsh had the latter definition uppermost in his mind and sensibly stood himself down from this ODI. 

Either that, or he forgot it was on.

Nevertheless, it meant Steve Smith was back in charge of Australia for this gripping decider.

(So gripping I missed the first few overs as I’d forgotten to check when it started.)

Marnus Summer Songs
Grade: B

But perhaps I’m being too harsh on the England v Australia Meaningless ODI Trophy Series, no doubt due to having barely seen more than a few minutes here and there of it. 

This was my first extended viewing of any of the matches, and what an unexpected delight it therefore was to suddenly hear the telltale sound of Marnus Labuschagne shouting something unintelligible yet almost certainly nonsensical. 

Summer is coming.

Whatever indistinct, inane advice Marnus was proffering his bowlers went unheeded, however, as England blasted their way past 200 just two wickets down in just the 25th over.

At one point, Harry Brook and Adam Zampa combined for a 6-dot-6-dot-6-dot over. This is superb cricket, by any measure. Half-maiden, half-maximum. 

The Two-Face of overs.