England v Sri Lanka Second Test Report Card, Day One

Featuring Daskalos Off The Short Run

Sadly, I missed almost the entirety of the first day of this second Test, tuning momentarily in to catch the commentators doing their annual ‘isn’t umpire’s call a funny old thing?’ discussion and infuriatingly musing on the wise thoughts on the matter offered by Shane Warne of all people!

(Look, Warne was many things. A deep and nuanced thinker on the nature of reality was not one of them. There’s a very obvious reason why the exact same delivery can sometimes be considered out and sometimes be considered not out. It’s not a paradox for the ages, nor a philosophical conundrum that drives newcomers from the sport. Sometimes the umpire thinks it’s out and gives it out. Sometimes the umpire thinks it’s not out and gives it not out. That’s it. That’s how the game worked before the ball-tracking technology. And for close projections, that’s how the game works now. Easy.

See? Now you’ve got me all parenthetically worked up just thinking about people’s insane complaints on the matter.)

Anyway, that was enough to drive me straight to bed. Here’s what I missed while I was asleep (and also before I arrived home).

Wait, I thought England had lengthened their tail
So they’d be in big trouble if the batters did fail
(Well, excluding Joe Root,
That ton-scoring brute)
But Gus Atkinson runs? Huh. That’s some break out of jail

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For further thoughts on reviews on DRS, read this. See if you can spot the point at which my serious admiration for the system transitions into sillier speculation.