England v Sri Lanka Second Test Report Card, Days Two and Three

Featuring marketing meaninglessness, Gus Atkinson's retirement, missed opportunities and deep fried cucumbers

Yikes! Computer difficulties yesterday meant I couldn’t do a report card. Here’s a combined one for days two and three.

Marketing Meaninglessness
Grade: D-

Easily the highlight of the second day’s play was the Sky commentators’ pre-match effort in trying to generate some interest in the upcoming white ball series between England and Australia.

Despite the purported importance of these series, I’m yet to determine what, precisely, the mix of ODI and T20 matches is. I could look it up, but as they’ll all take place in the middle of the night, I don’t particularly see the point. Let’s say it’s nine T20 internationals and half a dozen ODIs.

Either way, a Tremendous Opportunity for Jos Buttler to rebuild his squad after its deMottling in the wake of a couple of Disappointing World Cup Campaigns. And with a Crucial Champion’s Trophy looming, they’ll want to Hit The Ground Running. 

As for Australia? I dunno. An opportunity for Mitch Marsh to organise a pub crawl? Maybe make Jake Fraser-McGurk wear a silly hat? Let’s go!

Gus Atkinson’s Retirement
Grade: B+

Before that, though, we had the little matter of these last couple of Tests to play out. Interest was clearly waning in this Sri Lanka one, as England’s day one dominance extended into the second day via the improbable medium of a Gus Atkinson century.

Atkinson’s unlikely ton meant that he had found his way onto the Lord’s Honours Boards for five-wicket hauls, ten-wicket matches and centuries after just two Tests. Having successfully completed cricket, one imagines this Test will therefore be his final one. Hopefully, he can announce that before the last day, giving the crowd an opportunity to come in and celebrate his career and the wonderful memories Atkinson has given them. 

Farewell, Gus Atkinson, and thank you.