England v West Indies First Test, Day Three Report Card
Featuring knocking out Sangakkara's off stump, Jimmy's retirement and cricket
Knocking Out Sangakkara’s Off Stump
Grade: A
And so we came to the James Anderson End.
It was an emotional day. In no particular order, we had:
guards of honour from both teams
montages of players from the 1950s reminiscing about the matches they played alongside Anderson
dressing room interviews (although based on the amount of Guinness being consumed, the England dressing room is also an Irish pub?)
Stuart Broad magnificently bristling about Anderson being described as ‘by far’ England’s greatest bowler
needless oneupmanship from Gus Atkinson (seriously, Ben Stokes, bowl Harry Brook from the other end, you damn fool)
Dale Steyn bowling to Kumar Sangakkara in the nets for about forty-five minutes, passing on all the bowling tricks he’d picked up in the last few weeks since that helpful American taught him the basics of rolling his arm over at the T20 World Cup
To be honest, it was unclear what the last one had to do with Anderson’s retirement, but I wasn’t complaining. With Broad also chiming in with his insights on bowling (seam position, angles of run-ups, whether robots should be allowed to move, etc), I could have watched that for several more hours.
Jimmy’s Retirement
Grade: D
Ultimately, however, it was all about Anderson, and, amid all the hullabaloo he loved so much, he eventually bowed out of international cricket.
(Arguably, too much bowing, give that he missed a final caught and bowled chance that would have wrapped up the match in fairy tale fashion. (That fairy tale presumably being ‘The Boy Who Took A Caught And Bowled (While Bowing) As The Final Wicket In His Final Test Despite Gus Atkinson’s Desperate Showboating’.))
Anderson struggled to hold back tears as he spoke about what the game meant to him and the reality of his departure hit home. I say, let the tears flow, Jimmy. Despite what certain people might toxically chant at you, there’s nothing wrong at all with crying on the telly.
To be frank, however, while I understand the significance of the moment and people’s desire to make a big deal about it, I think I prefer the way Allan Border (the obvious equivalent in terms of longevity for those of us who are a) Australian and b) old) went out of the game.
Namely, by cracking the shits during an interview, announcing his retirement and never playing for Australia again. Proper retiring, that.
Shortly after all the hoopla died down, a photo went around social media, showing Anderson bowling to various teammates’ kids on the Lord’s outfield. A beautiful moment.
Of course, about ten minutes later, Brendon McCullum and Ben Stokes came over and told him it was time to stop.
Cricket
Grade: C
There was also a cricket match. England won that by an innings and 114 runs.
