How Scientists Determine The Age of Jimmy Anderson

Five methods

Famous elderly cricketer Jimmy Anderson has announced his imminent retirement from cricket. But how old, exactly, is Anderson? Prominent scientists offer their best estimates using the latest techniques.

BAD AI IMAGE OF: Scientists working on determining Anderson’s age

Radiocarbon Dating

By measuring the amount of the carbon-14 radioactive isotope in Anderson’s body, and accounting for its 5,730 year half-life, scientists can estimate his age to within 50 to 100 years.

Pros: Can be calculated with a single accelerator mass spectrometer, a purchase agreement easily added to the next sale contract of a ‘The Hundred’ franchise.

Cons: Radiocarbon dating is only effective to approximately 50,000 years.

Hubble’s Law

If Anderson is in motion (eg during his approach to the crease), a simple spectrometer measurement would allow us to measure the redshift of the light he emits. If this is combined with a calculation of the distance to Anderson (eg via his luminosity or known seating charts of the ground at which he is bowling), an application of Hubble’s Law would allow us to determine Anderson’s age to within a few hundred million years.

Pros: No upper limits to the measurement of his age. 

Cons: Assumes the motion of Anderson is generated primarily by the explosive force of the Big Bang, an axiom that may not hold (eg if he is fielding at fine leg).

Fermi Equations

A Fermi equation is a series of back-of-the-envelope order-of-magnitude estimates combined to make quick calculations of unknown quantities. For example, to approximate Anderson’s age, one would simply multiply together best estimates of the following factors:

1. Number of balls bowled in all forms of cricket by Anderson

2. Proportion of cricket played by Anderson that is Test cricket

3. The inverse of his Test bowling strike rate (ie inverse of balls bowled/wicket = wickets/ball) 

4. The inverse of the number of wickets/Test taken by Anderson

5. The inverse of the average number of Tests played per year by England

6. The inverse of the proportion of England Tests played by Anderson

7. The inverse of the proportion of Anderson’s life spent playing Test cricket

The product of those seven factors gives an estimate of Anderson’s age.

Pros: Reduces a complicated problem to a series of simpler estimates, many of which even a cricket novice or IPL commentator could take a stab at.

Cons: Significant errors in any one factor (eg how many balls has he bowled - a million? a billion? a gazillion? ultimately, nobody can confidently estimate) can result in an unreliable final approximation .

Dendrochronology

Perhaps the most accurate method for measuring Anderson’s age would be to simply cut him in half and count the number of rings in his trunk. 

Pros: This would not only reveal his age but also the environmental conditions he experienced in any given year (eg climate variations, insect infestations, George Bailey).

Cons: Would only work if Anderson was, in fact, a tree.

ESPNCricinfo

41 years old.

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Yes, one thing’s for sure, the quest to ascertain Jimmy Anderson’s age stands at the threshold of resolution, poised to unveil profound insights into the history of cricket and our existential significance within it. 

Thank you, Jimmy Anderson. Thank you, science.

The Instant Cricket Library