India v Australia Sole Test Report Card, Day Two

Featuring Mariah Carey high notes and baited snares

Mariah Carey High Notes
Grade: D-

It’s surely a sign of the growth in the women’s game over the past several years that it’s no longer just male cricketers who get to go to India for a ritual humiliation by the home side.

Yes, now the ladies, too, can show up for a Test match to be utterly out of their depth while batting, flailing desperately in the foreign conditions, before India take their turn at the crease. Then, suddenly, a pitch that seemed impossibly daunting is instead effortlessly mastered, like Mariah Carey vaingloriously trilling around the dog whistle notes at the end of one of her tiresome ballads.

BAD AI IMAGE OF: Mariah Carey mastering a seemingly impossible pitch

This is what the Australian women faced on the second day of their Test against India.

Sure, they didn’t help themselves in the field, with Tahlia McGrath at one point allowing consecutive balls to pass through her clumsy fingers at mid off and continue all the way to the boundary. (Although, perhaps McGrath was refusing to field properly until Jess Jonassen was given another bowl. In which case, solidarity, sister!)

Over on the other side of the pitch, it was Ellyse Perry with the clumsy hands, dropping a simple chance off Richa Ghosh. It meant Perry’s contribution to the Test at that point had been a second ball dismissal, bowling four overs for 31 runs, and dropping a catch. Now, it’s hard to say which of Perry’s dozen Tests has been her best throughout her long career, but this one does seem unlikely to steal the crown. (Although, if it somehow does, we’re in for some absolutely unbelievable antics from her.)

As India surged past Australia’s first innings total just three wickets down, it was beginning to look as if Australia’s tactics of batting, running, bowling, fielding and catching sloppily may not work out for them.