India v England Fifth Test Report Card, Day Three
Featuring context and hard questions
Context
Grade: C
England wrapped up the India first innings early on the third day, the highlight of that up-wrapping being the seven-hundredth wicket of Jimmy Anderson
Seven hundred wickets is a lot of wickets. To put it into perspective, it’s like taking one hundred wickets a day for a whole week. Or, if Snow White delegated the wickets evenly to her simp dwarves, they’d have to take one hundred each (yes, even Bashful!).
It’s one hundred wickets for each gruesome murder in the movie Se7en, and one hundred wickets for every bride of every brother in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (or fifty wickets per spouse, am I right, femisistas!).
If you wanted to enjoy the wickets in front of the seven wonders of the world, you’d be able to enjoy one hundred of them at each one, and if you wanted to watch them with some swans-a-swimming, you’d watch one hundred wickets with each such swan (and, frankly, better to watch it with some half-interested water birds than those self-righteous, pustule-ridden, spittle-drooling, hypocritical lords a-fucken-leaping).
You get the idea. It’s a lot of wickets.
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