Jump Scare Cricket
Jump Scare Cricket
A belated look into the India v Bangladesh Second Test, as cricket meets the horror genre
The recently concluded second Test between India and Bangladesh turned out to be a slasher flick.
To be honest, I spent the first three days not really paying much attention. Heard that rain was afoot, saw that play stopped early on day one, noted that the biggest threat to the Test was losing the ground beneath the covers on days two and three and gave up on it after that.
But I wasn’t the only one not paying attention. Bangladesh had also been cruelly led to believe that this Test was inevitably meandering to a dull, damp draw and had therefore wandered casually into India’s trap like a group of high school American teens drunkenly investigating that spooky cabin that used to be owned by old man Dhoni, and we all know the rumours about what happened to him…
As the camera drew closer and closer, and the soundtrack grew more ominous, the jump scare finally came. A startling day four attack from the India batters, bursting from the shadows and murdering the Bangladesh bowlers by slashing 9/285 from 34.4 overs.
WTF?
Startled, Bangladesh flee.
It’s a nerve-wracking, stumbling chase through the forest, filmed with handheld cameras, with branches whipping across the lens as the shot bobs and weaves, struggling to keep up with our panicked protagonists. Ragged breaths are drowned out by the thunderous pounding of the India attack crashing through the underbrush behind them. But, finally, the footsteps abate and Shadman and Shanto can take a breath and add a tension-relieving half-century partnership.
“I think we’re safe,” they mutter to one another, taking a drink, not willing to look back at the carnage behind them. All they can do now is look forward. Plan how to escape from this horrifying predicament into which they so carelessly stumbled. “We’re okay now.”
They weren’t okay.
Because the camera now cuts to the POV of the India bowlers, lurking ominously behind the trees. A cello plays a sustained low note.
Immediately after the drinks break, Jadeja leaps out. They weren’t safe at all. Shanto is taken by surprise, and is gone before either man knows what’s happening. Shadman flees, looking back over his shoulder as the music reaches a crescendo. Runs straight into Akash Deep, who puts an end to him too.
They were never safe.
It’s a bloodbath. Rapid cuts. Shrieking strings. Wicket-curdling screams.
But, like any proper slasher film, we then had Mushfiqur summoning some Final Girl energy. He courageously fought his way through the extra half hour brought about by the fall of the ninth wicket, hoping that somehow he could survive this horrific onslaught.
But, of course, he couldn’t.
Just when he thought he’d made it to the safety of lunch, just when he thought the India attack was dead, there was one final scare. The last ball before delayed lunch. The spooky, smiling menace of Jasprit Bumrah. A murderous delivery. The end of Bangladesh.
This was jump scare cricket. It got your heart pumping, sent a chill down your spine and no doubt impacted one’s other bodily parts in ways not yet examined.
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BCCI Know What You Did Last Summer?
WTC Final Destination.
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