Pakistan v England First Test Report Card, Day Two

Featuring being incapable of matching Naseem Shah, Woakes' dangling toe and The Popener

Being Incapable of Matching Naseem Shah
Grade: C

Pakistan resumed on the second day with nightwatcher Naseem Shah eyeing off a double century. And, to be fair, he gave it a decent shot, thumping a myriad of decent shots, including three sixes, on his way to 33, one-sixth of the way to the landmark. A Russian roulette double century. 

Naseem’s innings set a standard that Mohammad Rizwan, for example, simply couldn’t match, the keeper dismissed for a dozen-deliveries duck. It’s like I’ve always said, Rizwan’s handy with the bat, but he’s no Naseem Shah.

Salman Agha replaced Rizwan and completed the third century of the innings, as Pakistan powered their way past 500. Sadly for the home side, it turns out the Bazball variant of England have conceded 500 twice before and went on to win both matches. 

Pakistan, you damn fools!