Sri Lanka v Australia Second Test, Day Three Report Card

Featuring origamic deficiencies and dispute apathy

Origamic Deficiencies
Grade: D

Australia folded in the first session of the third day, losing 7/64 as Prabath Jayasuriya ran through them, finishing with a five wicket haul.

The sudden acceleration of the wicket-falling raised the prospect of the match ending before tea if Sri Lanka similarly collapsed. In what ways might a collapse be similar to folding, you might be asking? And, if so, you’ll be left unsatisfied given my sad origamic deficiencies.

Sri Lanka leant into the prospect, however, losing early wickets, including that of Dimuth Karunaratne, playing his final Test innings, who feathered one through to Alex Carey. Karunaratne reviewed instantly, only for the cold-hearted third umpire to send him on his way, amid hugs, opposition applause and the remorseless spike of the UltraEdge mocking him on the big screen.

Yes, a wasted review, but why not lean into it? I propose that in your hundredth and final Test, the ICC should give you a free review to burn on any nonsense you care to burn it on. And heck, if it’s both your hundredth and final Test, take two of them.

Why not use modern technology to lean into the romance and history of the sport. Respect the contributions of legends of the game. Honour the sacrifices and dedication of those who paved the way. Embrace the artistry, athleticism and general disinclination to accept the onfield umpires' decisions that create so many unforgettable experiences for fans around the world.

Also, why not sponsor these Farewell Reviews? Perhaps with an insidious gambling company? Now, we’ve got something.

Dispute Apathy
Grade: D-