The Definitive Comedy Ranking of Cricket Group Stage Outcomes - Part 3
How funny are group stage outcomes in major cricket tournaments? Yes, it’s a question we’ve all asked ourselves many times. But here, finally, is the definitive answer.
(Note that, for the purposes of this analysis, we’re talking about the standard four-team groupings that are most commonly used in major tournaments. I’m not getting bogged down in eight team, everybody-plays-everybody round robin nonsense, no matter how fun it is to see England wandering aimlessly around India and being thrashed by every team they bump into.)
Meta-Group C - Two Through Six No Results
In the first part of this analysis, I broke down the comedic merits of the four possible outcomes (The Orderly Queue, The Strutting Peacock, The Hapless Donkey and The Futile David) of a four-team cricket tournament group stage, assuming there were no no results.
In the second part of the analysis, I considered the impact on each of these group outcomes of a single no result.
In this third part, I present a video breakdown of what things look like when there are two or three no results in a group stage. (Only two or three, because by the time you get to four no results, there are only two actual played matches and the four possible outcomes are reasonably trivial. (Want to work them through? “You know my methods. Apply them!”) And, of course, at five or six no results, the entire group stage loses all meaning. But two or three is worthy of analysis, and the video below makes it clear exactly what happens, comedy-wise, in those cases.)
Yeah, it’s meaningless, slapstick chaos. At some point there’s no point analysing this kind of stuff any further. Just embrace the silliness. 5/10.
And, yes, yes, I know most of you consider that point to be yesterday (and the rest of you think it’s the day before). I stand by my choices.