Australian Survivor Report Card - Brains v Brawn 2 - Episode 9

Featuring Myles' voice, challenge idols and not trusting Max

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Previously on Australian Survivor: Myles was chatty, Paulie was Jesus, and Ursula was Urusela

Australian Survivor Report Card - Brains v Brawn 2 - Episode 8

Myles’ Voice
Grade: B+

In the aftermath of the previous night’s Tribal Council, everybody on New Brawn is concerned that AJ has gone completely off the deep end with this whole hostages scheme.

Kaelan tries to make peace by explaining that the ‘AJ’ stands for ‘analytically jumbled’, but nobody’s really buying it, so he heads back into the ocean for a few laps. (Laps of the ocean? Of course. Don’t tell Kaelan what he can’t do.)

On New Brains, the outstanding character find of the season (Myles’ voice) continues to drive Max crazy. It interrupts his pretend meditation, so Max uses it as an excuse to suck up to the original Brawn members, promising to flip and vote out Myles’ voice. He then dances.

Is there any way we can stop Max dancing? Do we have to crush his dreams so he feels no more joy in this game? Because I’ll reluctantly* agree to that.

Max then chooses from one of his dozens of ‘funny’ voices to, yet again, explain to us in annoying confessional how it’s time for the ‘jungle rat’ to go. Why does Max talk like that all the time? Is he unwell? I’d medevac him.

Challenge Idols
Grade: A

Time for the immunity challenge, a classic game of Puzzle Plank Netball! Before that begins, however, AJ explains to the other tribe his whole hostage plan.

You can’t spell ‘hostage’ without ‘AJ’. Especially the way AJ spells.

The original Brawn/new Brains members find it completely ridiculous. “AJ’s plan is completely nuts!” says Jesse or possibly Ben. “It’s stupid. Insane. And that’s why we all went along with it.”

For, yes, they start throwing the challenge, failing to pick up a canoe. ‘Oh, woe is me,’ says Ben or possibly Jesse at one point. ‘The excessive heft of this watercraft renders it unwieldy, laden as it is with surplus sandbags and such.’ And he faints dead away under the effort.

Things get a little more interesting, however, when, halfway through the challenge, the non-throwing New Brawn tribe gets enough of a lead for a clue to be revealed mid-challenge.

The tallest Survivor in the history of the game solves the puzzle

That clue? ‘One of your sandbags contains an idol’! So everybody abandons the puzzle and starts checking the sandbags. Personally, I kinda wish they’d put it together wrong so it said ‘one of your idols contains a sandbag’ and everybody with an idol started checking. Good way to flush them out.

While this is entertaining - and maddening for Myles and the other Brains who know that if they lose the challenge they’re doomed - the producers need to be careful of introducing idols into challenges. Why, imagine if it’s one of those challenges where you need to drown somebody and you have to briefly stop drowning them to collect your idol. How is the person you’re drowning going to drown, then? Something for the producers to think about going forward.

Not Trusting Max
Grade: A

As is so often the case, horseplay leads to tears. In this instance, from the rest of the New Brains tribe when a frustrated Myles runs over to the sandbag search and instantly finds the idol.

“IS THIS WHAT YOU WERE ALL LOOKING FOR?”

Sure, they still successfully lose the challenge, but now Myles is safe. And so is his voice.

The original Brains (Myles, Max, Zara and Laura) come together to scheme. “What we have to do,” explains Zara. “Is stick together and use Myles’ idol to take out one of the Brawn tribe, evening up the numbers and rendering AJ’s crazy hostages plan moot.”

“I’ve got a stupider idea,” replies Max, adopting one of his stupider voices to accentuate the point. “I’m going to flip and join the Brawn side so we can split the votes on you.”

“But why?” asks Zara.

“Because it’s funny,” explains Max, rolling his eyes.

“But you’re not funny,” explains Zara carefully.

Max will not be deterred, however. He takes Ben or possibly Jesse and Jesse or possibly Ben aside and explains to them how they can do a 3-3 split and get out whoever they want.

Yes, Max. Remind them of your close relationship with Rich, the person whose vote out was literally applauded by everybody on both tribes.

Unfortunately for Max, the Brawn contingent is sufficiently wary of Myles’ idol, and sufficiently deluded by several days of no food, that they instead take seriously the prospect that Max is a mastermind. Incredibly, they chat among themselves and decide that he might be playing them, and that he cannot be trusted to flip, and so vote him out instead.

Myles laughing at Max being blindsided is my everything.

Which is very funny. And also, a great way to stop him from dancing. Thank you, Brawn.

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