Australian Survivor Report Card - Brains v Brawn 2 - Episode 8
Featuring having a chat, pockets, religious imagery and hostages
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Previously on Australian Survivor: Zara played it dumb, Kaelan played it cool, and Rich played it poorly
Having A Chat
Grade: D-
Over on New Brains tribe, Ben’s building a new shelter, and Myles is helping out by asking him lots of questions about it. (eg “Have you got a lot of experience in building shelters?” Or “Do stone masons find the Stonecutters episode of The Simpsons brilliant or offensive?” Or “What’s a good trick for telling you and Jesse apart?”)
Lots of good questions. But, alas, when he runs out of questions several hours into the shelter reconstruction, Myles starts filling in time by recapping for the original Brawn members the first six episodes before the swap, including the entire breakdown of every single Brains vote, like some kind of overly chatty Ally-type character.
Zara takes him aside. “Hey Myles,” she says. “Remember, we’re in the minority here. So maybe keep it a little quiet on the strat chat, huh.”
“GOT IT!” says Myles. “MUM’S THE WORD!” Then, turning back to Ben. “SO, ANYWAY. THE GIRLS WERE IN AN ALLIANCE CALLED THE COVEN…”
Pockets
Grade: B+
Over on New Brawn, the old Brawn members realise they’re in a shambles, what with Noonan and Ursula constantly at loggerheads over who rolled eyes at whom and in what direction. (“I’m a grown woman,” explains Noonan at one point. “And I will roll my eyes clockwise or counterclockwise. And Ursula can’t stop me.” Ursula: “It’s anti-clockwise.” Noonan: “EITHER TERM IS ACCEPTABLE!!” Ursula: “I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK!!”)
AJ is delighted about all of this! He explains that he not only has the original Brains members in his pocket, but he also has the original Brawn members in his pocket. Classic pocket privilege from the male members of the cast, am I right, ladies?
AJ then goes on to claim that he’s got the entire tribe in his hands. And presumably, those hands are in his pockets?
The point is, that Noonan feels her best chance of surviving the next Tribal Council is to find an advantage with seven extra votes. It’s played off as a joke, but this is Australian Survivor, so let’s not rule anything out just yet.
Religious Imagery
Grade: B-
Time for an immunity challenge, a classic game of Rock Toss Stand-on-Sticks! It’s heavy on the Jesus imagery, which is fun for the editors and us, the loyal and deeply religious, viewers.
But perhaps less fun for Paulie, who is last Brawn remaining, in full crucifix pose. Will he be sacrificed for Brawn’s sins? (‘Thou shalt not be a bickering half-tribe of in-fighting chaos monkeys’.)
We’ll soon find out because the challenge contains numbers, which the producers assure everybody means it’s kind of a puzzle, and hence, favours the Brains tribe.
“Do we have to add up the numbers?” asks AJ.
“No. You have to throw things at them,” clarify the producers. “But that still counts!”
Hostages
Grade: D-
Turns out the producers know what they’re talking about. New Brains win the challenge, sending New Brawn back to Tribal Council.
But the challenge has AJ thinking, and that’s a dangerous thing indeed.
“A throwing challenge…” he muses to himself. “Throwing challenge. Throwing a challenge…” Then a cry of ‘Eureka!’ He’s bloody well cracked it.
He explains to his former Brains members that they’ll just vote off Ursula, and use Paulie and Noonan as hostages to make New Brains throw every single challenge between now and merge.
“Hold on a second,” says Kaelan, gliding in from the ocean to offer an opinion. “That sounds slightly crazy.”
“No,” says AJ. “It’s brilliant. All we have to do is make sure that the Brawn tribe don’t put their differences aside for just a single vote and use whichever hidden idol Paulie might have found to wrest complete control of this new swapped tribe.”
And he warily glances over to the four of them, screaming at one another about who ate a maggot, or who gave whom the side-eye, or who has always been on the chopping block (it’s Ursula).
Off to Tribal Council, then, where AJ immediately blurts out his hostages plan.
“Well,” says JLP. “I’m 55, and I think Probst is 63.”
“No, no, no,” clarifies AJ. “Hostages. Not host ages.”
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