Australian Survivor Report Card - Titans v Rebels - Episode 15
Featuring missions from God, non-prime numbers, weakness, Rocky and revotes
Previously on Australian Survivor: Winna wasn’t, Caroline turned the tables, and Mark was knot amused
Here’s the report card for the fifteenth episode of Titans v Rebels
Missions From God
Grade: C
We return from the previous Tribal Council with Caroline extremely upset about the nasty things that Valeria said.
Oh, Caroline. Mate, you have no idea. You should hear the stuff Val says in confessionals. Also, for that matter, in general conversation. Or, y’know, idle chitchat. Or, like, casual, social bonding. Girl is brutal. Just be thankful this is the first time you’ve felt the razor-sharp blade of her merciless tongue.
Eden, meanwhile, has decided it’s time to return to his roots as a pop culture referencing machine. He channels Jake Blues (John Belushi) from The Blues Brothers (1980, dir. John Landis) and declares that he’s getting the band (ie, the Titans) back together.
“We’re on a mission from God,” he quotes, as he explains the idea to Jaden.
“That’s choice, bro,” is the reply.
Non-Prime Numbers
Grade: D
It’s time, however, for the Car Curse Challenge, in which the contestants keep getting broken up into smaller and smaller groups at each stage until only one is left. A simple, classic, ‘Twelve Is A Very Divisible Number’ Obstacle Course.
Mark pipes up to explain the maths behind this. “Yes,” he says. “Twelve is, in fact, the first abundant number. That is, one whose proper factors sum to more than its value.”
Alex laughs and points. “Check out the nerd!”
But Mark has the last laugh, winning the challenge, despite everybody having to stop halfway through for an ad break. He’s very emotional about the win. “My diplomatic plates will look so beautiful on this brand new Holden Astra,” he explains to JLP, holding back tears.
“Isuzu.”
“Whatever.”
Weakness
Grade: C
Overcome with hubris, Mark takes Kitty, Valeria and Caroline on reward to mend some bridges, and clear up some burnt fences, a diplomacy challenge level of approximately eleven zillion.
Caroline confronts Valeria about calling her the weakest link in the tribe at the previous vote.
Valeria explains that Caroline should not take it personally. “Caroline, I am simply saying that if I ranked everybody according to their emotional weakness in this game, I would rank you very much at the bottom, well below everybody else.” (She gestures with her hand down at ankle level.)
Mark gulps.
Rocky
Grade: C
But suddenly, it’s time for an immunity challenge. It’s a classic game of How Long Is Your Pole?
As the challenge begins, Raymond sticks up his hand. “Oooh, ooh, Mr JLP!! Oooh!”
“Yes, Raymond.”
“I have a pun.” And it’s something to do with his pulse. Because ‘pulse’ sounds like ‘poles’. Sort of. To make sure we all get it, Raymond quite literally spells out the wordplay. What a strange magical island sprite he is.
Not strange enough to win, though, because Jaden, fuelled by an earlier Rocky montage, wins.
We flash back to Eden teaching Jaden how to play the game.
Eden’s Survivor School 101
1. Don’t deliberately lose challenges.
(Jaden writes this down, underlines ‘don’t’)
Revotes
Grade: A-
Back at camp, Eden continues to try to bring the Titans back together, while also pretending to still be aligned with Feras, Raymond and co.
But Team Furby start to sniff things out. Feras, in particular, confronts Kitty and Caroline separately trying to work out what, exactly, they’re really planning to do.
It all comes to a head at Tribal Council where, after much frantic whispering back and forth (Jaden: (whispering) Why are we all whispering?) and last-minute vote changes, the Rebels and Titans revert to their original tribes and send the vote to a 6-6 tie between Raymond and Eden.
There’s then a revote, with Raymond and Eden ineligible to vote. The Rebels stick to their Eden vote - Everyrebel Loves Raymond - but one of the Titans flips, sending Eden home.
Who?
We find out via flashback to lesson two of Eden’s Survivor School 101.
2. Don’t vote out Eden
(This time, Jaden underlines the ‘do’ bit)
“This one’s for Winna, lad,” says Jaden, on the revote.
Jaden vengeance plotline, FTW! (for the Winna)