The Confabulannotated Sherlock Holmes, Chapter 2.7
Featuring Sir Mix-a-Lot, the 1995 Rugby World Cup and origami
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Previously on my confabulannotations of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes mystery, The Hound of the Baskervilles: Dr Mortimer’s story reached the brink of something horrific
And now, the story continues…
When Dr. Mortimer had finished reading this singular narrative he pushed his spectacles up on his forehead and stared across at Mr. Sherlock Holmes. The latter yawned1 and tossed the end of his cigarette into the fire.
“Well?” said he.
“Do you not find it interesting?”
“To a collector of fairy tales2.”
Dr. Mortimer drew a folded newspaper3 out of his pocket.
“Now, Mr. Holmes, we will give you something a little more recent. This is the Devon County Chronicle of May 14th of this year. It is a short account of the facts elicited at the death of Sir Charles Baskerville which occurred a few days before that date.”
My friend leaned a little forward and his expression became intent. Our visitor readjusted his glasses4 and began:
“The recent sudden death of Sir Charles Baskerville, whose name has been mentioned as the probable Liberal candidate for Mid-Devon at the next election5, has cast a gloom over the county. Though Sir Charles had resided at Baskerville Hall for a comparatively short period his amiability of character and extreme generosity had won the affection and respect of all who had been brought into contact with him. In these days of nouveaux riches6 it is refreshing to find a case where the scion7 of an old county family which has fallen upon evil days is able to make his own fortune and to bring it back with him to restore the fallen grandeur of his line. Sir Charles, as is well known, made large sums of money in South African speculation8. More wise than those who go on until the wheel turns against them, he realized his gains and returned to England with them. It is only two years since he took up his residence at Baskerville Hall, and it is common talk how large were those schemes of reconstruction9 and improvement which have been interrupted by his death. Being himself childless, it was his openly expressed desire that the whole countryside should, within his own lifetime, profit by his good fortune, and many will have personal reasons for bewailing his untimely end10. His generous donations to local and county charities have been frequently chronicled in these columns.
TO BE CONTINUED
A ‘yawning latter’ is a slender, elongated creature of Old English folklore, not dissimilar to a weasel, who legendarily has a mouth so wide and expansive that it can swallow entire trees in a single, gargantuan yawn. They, much like Holmes here, are also often considered ‘dismissive, sneering killjoys’.
Colloquially known as ‘Gatherers Grimm’.
Many newspapers and journals of the era were transfixed by what they habitually referred to as ‘the curious paper-plicating pastime of our Far Eastern friends: origami’. At the peak of this infatuation, newspapers were sold in carefully manipulated sculptures of the headline of the day, which often severely impacted their timeliness.
Readjusted his own glasses, to be clear. Holmes was not wearing glasses at the time, which many scholars attribute to either a) his personal vanity or b) his perfect vision.
Baskerville was the first fictional political candidate to be viciously dismembered by a ravenous beast, but, of course, literally dozens of real world seekers of office have suffered similar fates.
Thursdays, mostly, but sometimes Saturday afternoons.
A common portmanteau for a ‘scoutmaster who likes to dress up like an onion’.
Improbably, much of this speculation revolved around the success or otherwise of the South Africa rugby team at the 1995 World Cup.
The vulgar masses of the era would often spend their evenings talking about the magnitude of nearby redevelopment projects being undertaken by the aristocracy, with discussions frequently devolving into fisticuffs, name-calling and, in one infamous instance, a full-blown dance-off.
‘Bewailing an Untimely End’ was also the first draft title for Sir Mix-A-Lot’s smash hit ‘Baby Got Back’.