The Confabulannotated Sherlock Holmes, Chapter 2.5
Featuring Montessori political correctness, omitted pranks and canine volume controls
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Previously on my confabulannotations of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes mystery, The Hound of the Baskervilles: Dr Mortimer continued his story of Hugo Baskerville’s enraged pursuit
And now, the story continues…
“They had gone a mile or two when they passed one of the night shepherds1 upon the moorlands, and they cried to him to know if he had seen the hunt. And the man, as the story goes2, was so crazed with fear that he could scarce speak3, but at last he said that he had indeed seen the unhappy maiden4, with the hounds upon her track. ‘But I have seen more than that,’ said he, ‘for Hugo Baskerville passed me upon his black mare5, and there ran mute6 behind him such a hound of hell as God forbid should ever be at my heels.’
“So the drunken squires cursed the shepherd and rode onward. But soon their skins turned cold7, for there came a galloping across the moor, and the black mare, dabbled with white froth8, went past with trailing bridle and empty saddle. Then the revellers rode close together, for a great fear was on them, but they still followed over the moor, though each, had he been alone9, would have been right glad to have turned his horse’s head. Riding slowly in this fashion they came at last upon the hounds. These, though known for their valour and their breed, were whimpering in a cluster at the head of a deep dip or ‘goyal,’ as we call it10, upon the moor, some slinking away and some, with starting hackles and staring eyes, gazing down the narrow valley before them.
TO BE CONTINUED
A night shepherd was specifically tasked with looking after night sheep, an outdated term for black sheep. Indeed, the famous nursery rhyme was originally titled ‘Baa, Baa, Night Sheep’, before being cleaned up Maria Montessori in the 1920s. (This was also when ‘shrinkflation’ expanded the number of bags full from the original ‘one point eight’ to ‘three’.)
ie, this story
To ‘scarce speak’ is to omit every other word in a sentence, a difficult to master dialect popular in the north of England and, later, Clint Eastwood.
In cricket terms, an ‘unhappy maiden’ is one where no runs are taken from the over, but the bowler has experienced no joy from bowling it, either because they should have taken a wicket but didn’t, or because they are having marital problems.
Previously known as a ‘night mare’, of course, until early sleep therapists such as Sigmund Freud joined forces with long suffering stable hands to bring some clarity to the situation.
Most titular canines of the era had easily accessed volume controls. (Jack London’s White Fang could be muted with a double tap to the jowls. Eric Knight’s Lassie had a console that not only controlled her volume, but also her balance, as she was one of the first titular dogs to be written in stereo. In the early 1980s, Stephen King paid homage to this now mostly forgotten motif, by clarifying that Cujo came with a graphic equaliser and built-in turntable.)
Conan Doyle had forgotten to mention to this point that most of the squires were frogs.
Believed by many Holmes scholars to be shaving cream, the remnants of a (wisely) deleted scene in which Baskerville inexplicably pranked his horse.
A timely critique of the power of peer group pressure. What Dr Mortimer doesn’t mention is that all the riders (and many of the horses) are also encouraging one another to smoke.
An obvious lie. A ‘goyal’ is, in fact, a common portmanteau for ‘gourmand royal’ (eg, a duke who likes to eat artisanal cheeses or an earl who indulges in herb-crusted rack of night lamb).