Australian Survivor Report Card - Titans v Rebels - Episode 9
Featuring admnce, dreadful ageing, playing dumb and skits
Previously on Australian Survivor: Scott connected dots, Mark generated sparks and the show’s allocation of Sarah grew notably rarer.
Here’s the report card for the ninth episode of Titans v Rebels
Admnce
Grade: F
After the previous night’s tribal council, Mark and Caroline have an awkward conversation. "I wanted to blindside Caroline to get back at her for blindsiding Viola,” explains Mark. “And now I might be blindsided myself. It’s a classic blindside or be blindsided scenario. I’ll have to keep an eye open for that.”
But before we can go any further, it’s time for a game of Water Coconut Mexican Food Spelling Bee. A Survivor classic.
Needless to say, despite Kelli’s inability to spell her own name correctly, she is adamant that she is the correct person to place in this challenge. Or, perhaps, she’s admnt, as she soon proves to be typically carefree with how often the letter A might appear in a word such as ‘salsa’. (Answer: at least two (2) times.)
The next word is ‘chilli’. Mark pipes up. “Excuse me, JLP,” he says. “Is that chilli, chilly or Chile?”
“Shut up, nerd,” says JLP.
Infuriated, Mark decides to suddenly start wrestling Winna. “Ha ha ha!” chuckles JLP. “Maybe you’re not such a nerd, after all, Mark. I’ll allow it.”
So now there’s lots more wrestling than you might expect in a spelling bee. Which is a good way to fill in some time when the last word turns out to be ‘jalapeño quesadilla’.
Dreadful Ageing
Grade: D-
The point is that the New Titans win reward and stuff their faces with Mexican food, while Feras and Kirby make their schemes for the long-prophesied Great Furby War of 2024.
Feras and Kirby are both trying to win over the trio of Winna, Charles and Valeria. (They are also trying to char them over and val them over.)
Charles suddenly pipes up on behalf of the trio. Is Charles in charge? Well, no. But still a good chance for him to get a word in.
“This could be a case of Revenge of the Nerds,” he declares, apparently oblivious to the fact that Winna and Valeria are two of the least nerdy people humanity has ever thrown forth.
“All right, that’s enough of that,” says Eden, sidling up to explain that the 1984 comedy has aged dreadfully.
“You’re not even on this tribe,” complains Charles.
Playing Dumb
Grade: B
Immunity time, a simple Barrel Hold Hand-Off contest. A classic.
Fortunately for the New Rebels, and the editors who’ve spent a lot of time foreshadowing the Feras-Kirby showdown, Jaden is the strongest man on Earth.
He therefore spends most of the challenge holding about thirty of the barrels and laughing at his opponents.
After the New Titans’ inevitable defeat, both physically and editorially, Aileen tries to convince everybody to simply have a very dull episode in which one of the original Titans is voted out.
Kirby and Feras yawn in her face and instead rally their respective numbers. Despite being on opposite sides, Raymond and Kelli have a delightful chat, in which he proposes that they ‘both play dumb’.
“I am dumb!” says Kelli.
“Yes, that’s excellent!” says Raymond. “Very convincing.”
Skits
Grade: D
At Tribal Council, Garrick is still furious at Kirby over what happened on the Peta vote.
“Who the blazes is Peta!?” is Kirby’s response, and I, for one, stand with her on that sentiment.
But Garrick won’t forget. He will never forget. He’s (correctly) convinced that the votes from the Kirby side are coming for him. And even more so when Kirby, perhaps overconfident in Kelli’s acting skills after her magnificent ‘dumb Kelli’ portrayal that has all of the island talking, decides to do a little skit in which the two of them pretend Kelli has an idol.
Garrick doesn’t buy it for a second. And, if you know Garrick at all, not buying things is something he absolutely can’t stand.
He asks Feras for the idol.
“Yeah, nah,” says Feras. And Garrick goes home.