The Confabulannotated Sherlock Holmes, Chapter 2.3
Featuring decadent baguettes, Oasis reunions and St George Michael
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Previously on my confabulannotations of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes mystery, The Hound of the Baskervilles: Dr Mortimer began telling a story
And now, the story continues…
“Know then that in the time of the Great Rebellion (the history of which by the learned Lord Clarendon I most earnestly commend to your attention) this Manor of Baskerville was held by Hugo of that name, nor can it be gainsaid1 that he was a most wild, profane, and godless man. This, in truth, his neighbours might have pardoned, seeing that saints have never flourished in those parts, but there was in him a certain wanton and cruel humour which made his name a byword through the West2. It chanced that this Hugo came to love (if, indeed, so dark a passion may be known under so bright a name) the daughter of a yeoman3 who held lands near the Baskerville estate. But the young maiden, being discreet and of good repute, would ever avoid him, for she feared his evil name. So it came to pass that one Michaelmas4 this Hugo, with five or six of his idle and wicked5 companions, stole down upon the farm and carried off the maiden6, her father and brothers being from home, as he well knew. When they had brought her to the Hall the maiden was placed in an upper chamber, while Hugo and his friends sat down to a long carouse7, as was their nightly custom. Now, the poor lass upstairs was like to have her wits turned at the singing and shouting and terrible oaths8 which came up to her from below, for they say that the words used by Hugo Baskerville, when he was in wine, were such as might blast the man who said them. At last in the stress of her fear she did that which might have daunted the bravest or most active man9, for by the aid of the growth of ivy which covered (and still covers) the south wall she came down from under the eaves, and so homeward across the moor, there being three leagues10 betwixt the Hall and her father’s farm.
TO BE CONTINUED
To ‘gainsay’ something is to say it for monetary or reputational gain - eg George Clooney hawking Nespresso. In this instance, Conan Doyle is saying that Hugo’s darker side was so obvious that it would be unprofitable to pay anybody to mention it. (Although that wouldn’t necessarily stop Clooney’s agent from pitching a deal.)
A Jimmy Carr-type figure, one imagines.
Not to be confused with the superhero ‘Yo-Man’, who was given his incredible abilities when bitten by a radioactive half of a yo-yo, and is scheduled to be part of the MCU’s Phase 7.
Michaelmas is the annual celebration in which a magical spirit of benevolence (George Michael) brings blessings upon all who believe in him and his message of faith and waking others up before one go-gos.
The exact split is unclear here, but later Holmes scholars have determined it to be: two (2) idle, one (1) wicked, two (2) idle and wicked, one (1) neither idle nor wicked, but easily led.
Even at the time, this was widely considered ‘uncool’ behaviour.
A ‘carouse’ was a decadent 19th century late night snack - a baguette covered in figs, roasted walnuts and melted cheese, sometimes dipped into black pepper honey or (if drunk enough) bacon grease.
‘Singing and Shouting and Terrible Oaths’ was widely speculated to be the name of the Oasis Reunion tour.
John McClane in Die Hard, the famous Michaelmas movie.
Three leagues = approximately 37 metric cubits, or 0.8 of a Scottish furlong, ie longer even than this paragraph.